Adam Sandler may have been snubbed by the Academy, but just like when he lost his high school yearbook superlative for “best looking” to some “feather-headed douchebag,” he’s taking it all in stride.
During his acceptance speech for best male lead at Saturday’s Independent Spirit Awards, the “Uncut Gems” star went full Sandman on stage, poking fun at everyone from directors Josh and Bennie Safdie to Netflix’s Ted Sarandos and producer Scott Rudin.
Read his full speech below:
Thank you, man, I know you guys all try to go quick and my speech is too long so I’ll try to breeze through it. And I love you. Just in case they cut me off, I love you to my wife and my kids and my family and I love you. Okay. I wrote a speech here we go, real quick. Hello my name is Adam Sandler.
Thank you. I stand before you trembling with glee as I receive your so-called best actor trophy independently speaking, of course.
First off, it’s great to see our host Aubrey Plaza again. Aubrey and I did a move entitled funny people 11 years ago. That was actually the last time critics pretended not to hate me for five f—ing minutes. Catch you in another 11 years, Aubrey.
I liked to also give a shout out to my fellow nominees, who will now and forever be known as the guys to lost to f—ing Adam Sandler. How did that happen? Independent movie Adam Sandler? To get my movie I had to live in my car outside of f—ing Ralph’s begging for nickels on f—ing Kickstarter, and all Sandler had to do was get Ted Sarandos stoned.
A few weeks back when I was “snubbed” by the Academy, it reminded me when I briefly attended high school and was overlooked for the coveted yearbook superlative category best looking. That accolade was given to a jean-jacket wearing, feather-haired douchebag by name the of Skipper Jenkins. But my classmates did honor me with the allegedly less-prestiges designation of best personality. And tonight as I look around this room, I realize the Independent Spirit Awards are the best personality awards of Hollywood.
So let all of those feather-haired douchebag motherf—-ers get their Oscars tomorrow night. Their handsome good looks will fade in time, while our independent personalities will shine on forever.
I’ve got more, I’m sorry, I got cruise through this. But in all seriousness, independent films have been a big part of the Adam Sandler ecosystem. From my first film, a fearless look in the American education system through the eyes of a privileged sociopath by the name of Billy f—ing Madison, to my searing exploration of American college foosball and it’s manipulation of socially challenged athletes like the Mr. Bobby Boucher. I have tried to sell my truths with a truly independent spirit, while also cashing some truly disturbingly large paychecks.
Tonight is about “Uncut Gems,” I want to thanks some people first off, of course, the person who shared my life, my home, my laughter, my tears — Scott Rudin. Two years ago, Scott said the words that would forever change my life. “No, those aren’t homeless rabbis, those are the Safdie brothers.”
Honestly, I do want to say thank you to the Safdie brothers for believing in me and thinking of me for this part. I really had the best time getting to know you guys, I love you guys and I am glad we are tight now.
I want to say thank you to anybody who ever working on any of the comedies I did over the years. I love you, and I am glad we did all of that work together. And the Safdies and Noah and everybody liked our stuff enough to put me their stuff.
I truly I want to thank my kids for reading “Uncut Gems” and saying, “Dad, you gotta f—ing do this movie. Fantastic stuff.” And my wife, I love you. Thank for running lines with me and thanks for hanging out with me, and we had some fun on this one, so I love you. And thanks to everybody for this — a great night, I appreciate it.
Watch the full speech above.