I’m an on-set intimacy coach — and sex scenes are a total ‘mood killer’


An intimacy coach dished about how actors get down and dirty on-screen — while keeping their dignity intact off-screen.

Jessica Steinrock, known as @intimacycoordinator on TikTok, shared some titillating tricks from her trade as a sex scene consultant on film sets.

In one recent clip with 20.4 million views, Steinrock answers the question: “How do you make sex scenes look so real on TV?”

To the tune of “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan, Steinrock dances around the frame holding up various paraphernalia used to preserve an actor’s modesty.

She showed nipple covers, rolls of tape, a strapless thong and even a flesh-colored, phallic-looking bag, which she later refers to as a “modesty pouch.”

In a follow-up video, she explains just how film crews make sex scenes look real — this time, with words — in a clip that attracted over 110,000 views. She explained that the strapless thong is held on with the help of adhesive, while the pouch is used for actors with penises.

But these aren’t all the tools in her toolbox — in fact, there are many more items that keep actors from feeling any sensation at all while filming, she said.

Shocked TikTokkers couldn’t believe a flimsy piece of fabric is the only barrier for modesty, while others asked the important questions: “What happens if the guy gets too excited”?

Steinrock explains in another clip that people’s brains can’t always distinguish what is real and fake, and in the case of getting spicy on-screen, some “vascular reactions” might occur.

“But they probably happen a lot less than you think,” she added, since the scene in the moment isn’t all that “sexy” as the final result makes it seem. Plus, she said, the modesty garments are “mood killers.”

Meanwhile, other users asked for more explanation as to how exactly film crews dupe the viewers into believing the spicy scenes are totally real.

In other clips on her page, the intimacy coordinator dishes on-set secrets about fans’ favorite sex scenes.
@intimacycoordinator

“So ur telling me 365 and fifty shades of grey wasn’t a real interaction,” asked one astonished viewer.

“Yeah I’ll tell ya euphoria got me CONFUSED,” wrote another bewildered TikTok user.

Someone confessed, “I thought they actually did it.”

Steinrock’s page is packed with clips that explain her role as an intimacy coordinator, which includes making sure actors are safe and that the behavior is entirely consensual.

Earlier this year, another intimacy coordinator told Insider actors take a “time-out” to calm down if things get too hot and heavy on set.

“The worst thing we can do is gawk or make it a massive deal,” the intimacy coordinator, David Thackeray, said at the time.

That’s where prosthetics might come in handy. The faux genitalia can look so real with the help of makeup and technology that even a full frontal can be a hoax. Yet, it provides the actors with a bit more modesty than if their real dongs were on display.

“For a lot of performers, they do feel a bit more comfortable, in some ways, wearing a prosthetic, because they’re not being asked to reveal their own genitalia,” intimacy coordinator Amanda Blumenthal previously told Thrillist. “It’s like a costume piece, and it’s also part of a character. It’s not you.”